dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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