Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
