Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
