I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
someone owes me an orgasm
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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