Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
