Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Boobs are out for the taking
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
