We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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