I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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