I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
