the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize