Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
