omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
