The brown eye won't let me do that either.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
