guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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