I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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