you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
sarcasm needs its own font
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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