i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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