I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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