Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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