whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
