My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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