he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
