The maid of honor just puked.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
