hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
