U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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