just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
