people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize