i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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