Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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