She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
