TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
