If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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