# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
