Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize