Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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