and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
