That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
