What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
