You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
