A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
