If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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