But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
