new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
