covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
