what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
