found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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