remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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