I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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