Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
