you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
