You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
