Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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