Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you never un-have a 4some
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
