I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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