i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
