If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
