When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
