the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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