4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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