At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
