Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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