On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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