the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
