Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
