I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
