yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
