Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
