We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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