we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
