You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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